For many years, romance movies, books, and other media have always glorified low-maintenance women. It created the “I’m not like other girls” trope, which drew stigma toward women who put a lot of effort into their appearances and relationships. This trope boomed in the early 2000s to 2010s, where music videos like “We Belong With Me” antagonized the cheerleader and praised the geek.

Until now, you’d still come across several articles stating why being high-maintenance is bad. It’s as if getting mani-pedis, hair cuts, and facials regularly make you narcissistic, and therefore unattractive. But with today’s women empowerment movements, isn’t it time to stop vilifying high maintenance women, and to actually see the beauty in their lifestyle?

Why Being High-Maintenance Was Discouraged

The media views high-maintenance women as overbearing, demanding, and self-centered. They identify them as the type of girlfriend who requires too much from their partners. Good morning texts, romantic dinner dates, being spoiled with gifts and putting their relationship in the center of their worlds supposedly make them happy. If their partners don’t give them what they want, they would whine and cause drama.

True, overbearing, demanding, and self-centered behaviors aren’t good. A relationship is a two-way street after all, so it requires the work of both parties. But not all high-maintenance women are toxic, like what many articles are pointing out. A demanding woman is simply a demanding one, and a high maintenance woman could be many things.

Healthy Traits of a High-maintenance Woman

Contrary to popular belief, high-maintenance women aren’t automatically clingy, self-obsessed, and all the other undesirable traits mentioned above. In fact, you and society may just be misjudging them often. If a woman displays the traits below, they’re the best example of a high maintenance person with healthy traits:

  • They are updated on “the best of” lists.

Not just the best beauty products and fashion items, but also the best habits of successful people, the best new restaurants in town, and the like. They always seek the best and won’t settle for mediocrity and laziness.

  • They are confident.

People may call them bossy, but they can’t help that they’re natural leaders. They know what they want, and how to get it (without stepping on others, of course.). If they fail, they get back up and start over.

woman outdoors meditating

  • They strive for perfection

Perfectionism may not always be tolerated, but it’s better than settling for mediocrity. High maintenance women pay attention even to the smallest details because overlooking something minor can result in a major mistake. This is how they produce flawless outputs at work, and in whatever they do.

  • They don’t put up with people who take them for granted.

If a high-maintenance woman seems demanding, chances are their partner just doesn’t match their personality. They don’t put up with relationships without a direction or a clear definition. It’s either you have them or you don’t. They want to know exactly where they stand in a relationship, because they give their best, and they know that they also deserve the best.

  • They’re good communicators

Mature high maintenance women don’t wait for their partners to read their minds. Instead, they communicate what they want.

  • They’re independent

Again, contrary to popular belief, high-maintenance girlfriends don’t depend on anyone to get what they want. Their world doesn’t revolve around their partners or relationships. They control their own destiny and reach their own goals.

  • They’re successful

Anything short of success is mediocrity. A high-maintenance woman isn’t afraid to do what’s difficult, as long as it will give them the success they’re yearning for.

Why It’s Time to Stop Shaming High-maintenance Women

Women are encouraged, to the point of being pressured, to achieve perfection in every aspect of their lives. The media wants them to be fit, healthy, and successful. Their homes should be tidy and well-decorated, their wardrobe timeless, and their makeup thick yet natural-looking.

Essentially, women are taught to be high maintenance with their lives but are shamed for having high standards in relationships.

If society sees nothing wrong with women who are content with casual dates, inconsistent communication, and label-less relationships, they should also respect women who set the bar higher. Double-standards are outdated and detrimental.

Women should still feel good for wanting their men to hold doors open for them; for romantic dinner dates, consistent communication, and being treated like a queen. It’s not asking for too much if it’s with the right partner anyway.

Besides, partners often treat you better when they see you treating yourself well. There’s even research suggesting that high-maintenance women snag better relationships. Their high self-esteem was found to be more attractive, at least to high-value mates.

So if you’re also a high-maintenance woman, don’t feel apologetic about it. As long as your personality doesn’t trample on anyone, you’re perfect the way you are, and someone is bound to see your worth beyond your flawless looks.

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