Parents raise their children until they’re old enough to be on their own. But what happens when the roles are reversed, and the child becomes the caregiver for a chronically ill parent? It’s a daunting task that you can manage with the right mindset and preparation.
Of course, no two situations are alike, so it’s essential to tailor your approach to your parent’s specific needs. That said, here are some tips to help you care for your chronically ill parent while also taking care of yourself:
Tip #1: Set boundaries with your parent
It’s important to set boundaries with your parent to avoid getting burned out. You need to establish what you’re willing and able to do in caregiving and be clear about your expectations. Explain that you’re happy to help, but there are limits to what you can do.
For instance, you may be able to help your parent with their medications and doctor appointments. You could even be their designated chaperone for their trips to the cancer center to get treatments. But you may not be able to move in with them and provide 24/7 care since you have a full-time job and other obligations.
It’s also important to set boundaries regarding how much you’re willing to discuss your parent’s illness. You may want to be their go-to person for everything, but that may not be realistic or healthy. You also need to have time for yourself and your own life, so don’t feel guilty about taking a break from caregiving now and then.
Tip #2: Don’t try to do it all
It’s impossible to do everything, so don’t try because you might just push yourself over the edge. Instead, delegate tasks to other family members or friends, and hire outside help if necessary. Focus on what you can reasonably handle and let go of the rest.
Suppose you’re responsible for taking your parent to their doctor appointments. But you have a full-time job and can’t always take off work. In that case, you can ask a relative or friend to come with them instead. You could also hire a professional caregiver to provide transportation and in-home care.
The key is to build a support network of family, friends, and professionals to help you with caregiving tasks. This way, you won’t feel like you’re shouldering all the responsibility by yourself and carrying the world’s weight on your back.
Tip #3: Take time for yourself
You must take time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Caregiving can be very stressful, and you need to take care of yourself to avoid burning yourself out. Schedule some “me time” into your week, even if it’s just a long bath or a walk around the block.
For example, you could talk to your siblings or relatives and alternate on weekends, so you each have a day off. Or, if you’re the primary caregiver, hire a professional caregiver for a few hours each week to give yourself a break. It’s important to have some time to relax and recharge to be the best caregiver possible.
If you don’t take the time to breathe, you’ll quickly become overwhelmed, exhausted, and resentful. And that’s not good for anyone involved. So, don’t wait until you’re at your wit’s end to take a break. Make taking care of yourself a priority from the start.
Tip #4: Seek out support
There are many support groups available for caregivers of chronically ill parents. Seek out one that fits your needs and connect with other caregivers who understand what you’re going through. Sharing your experiences and venting your frustrations can be very therapeutic.
Don’t keep everything inside because you might implode. Instead, find a support system to help you deal with the challenges of caregiving. Remember that you don’t have to do this alone, especially if you’re your parent’s primary caregiver.
So, do it for both of your sakes and reach out to a support group, whether in person or online. Many people will understand what you’re going through and can offer helpful advice. Don’t fear the stigma of being a caregiver; you’re not alone.
Tip #5: Be patient
Caring for a chronically ill parent can be frustrating and exhausting, so it’s essential to be patient. Things will happen that are out of your control, and there will be good days and bad days. Accept that this is part of the journey and try to stay positive.
Keep in mind that if it’s getting bad for you, it’s probably worse for your parent. They’re the ones who are dealing with the illness, after all. So, try to be understanding and compassionate, even when things are tough.
Patience is a virtue that will come in handy when caring for a chronically ill parent. There will be days when you feel like you can’t do this anymore, but try to hang in there. It won’t be easy, but spending the rest of your time with your parent is worth it.
Caring for a chronically ill parent is a big responsibility, but it’s also an opportunity to show your love and compassion. By following these tips, you can make the experience a little easier for both of you. And that’s what matters most.